A Week of Writing: 4/29/19 to 5/5/19
A day late, but here’s another week of writing wins and woes.
Words to Write By
The quote this week comes from Ernest Hemingway.
“Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.”
– Ernest Hemingway
I’m featuring this quote not because I think it’s how everyone should write, but because it’s how I tend to approach writing. Hemingway is famous for spare, unadorned prose, and I tend to write in a similar fashion (note, I am not making any kind of qualitative comparison between my own writing and Hemingway’s). I certainly look at my prose as a means to and end rather than anything approaching the end product itself. What does that mean, though? Generally, it means I don’t spend a lot of time describing people, places, and things; I rely heavily on dialog to express plot points and develop characters; and I weed out passive voice, most adverbs, and try not to get too complex with my sentence structure. If I do it right, I end up with lean, fast-paced prose that conveys a story efficiently and is, hopefully, compelling. So, why do I write this way? Simple. It’s a style that tends to highlight things I’m good at, like action and dialog, and downplays things I’m not so good at, like truly stylish prose and expansive descriptions. Once more, this is not the best way to write (there’s no such thing), but it’s how I write. Looking at my prose like architecture, as Hemingway suggests, has helped me do what all authors must–finish stories and novels.
The Novel
I was out for a few days last week for a badly needed vacation, but I did manage to get a fair amount done on the current revision of Late Risers. I’m confident things will speed up once I get out of the first act where the bulk of the heavy revisions are taking place. This week, I’m working on the last bit of completely new material, and my goal is to finish that, integrate it into the manuscript, and get beyond the halfway point in the revision.
Short Stories
Finally, a respectable submission week.
- Submissions Sent: 4
- Rejections: 1
- Acceptances: 0
- Publications: 0
- Shortlist: 0
I got 4 submissions out last week. That’s solid, and it’s a good start to May. That gives me 39 for the year and puts me back on track for 100 for 2019. I’d like to end up somewhere around 10 to 12 submissions for the month.
The Blog
Three blog posts last week.
4/29/19: A Week of Writing: 4/22/19 to 4/28/19
The usual weekly writing update.
5/1/19: Submission Protocol: For the Record
In this post I discuss why it’s important to keep detailed records of all your submissions.
5/3/19: Submission Statement: April 2019
A detailed account of my submission endeavors for the month of April.
Goals
Keep revising the novel and chugging toward that finish line. As usual, I’d like a side dish of short story submissions to go with my revision main course.
That was my week. How was yours?
Submission Statement: April 2019
April is in the books, and here are all my submissions, rejections, and acceptances for the month.
April 2019 Report Card
- Submissions Sent: 8
- Rejections: 6
- Acceptances: 1
- Publications: 3
- Submission Withdrawal: 0
That’s a decent month submission-wise. A reasonable amount of rejections against one acceptance and three publications. I give this month a solid B. April’s numbers give me thirty-six submissions for the year. A little off my pace for one-hundred submissions, but I’ve already fired off three subs in May, so I should turn things around this month.
Rejections
Six rejections for April.
- Standard Form Rejections: 3
- Upper-Tier Form Rejections: 3
- Personal Rejections: 0
Nothing really exciting or new in the rejection department this month. All six rejections were form rejections and likely ones you’d recognize. That gives me twenty-six total rejections for the year. I got one-hundred right on the nose last year, and I’m on pace for a paltry seventy-eight this year. I’m okay with that. 🙂
Acceptances
Just one tiny little acceptance this month, a microfiction story called “His True Name” at 50-Word Stories. I’m two for two with microfiction subs so far, and I might send a few more this month to some other markets. That’s six total acceptances for the year. I’d really liked to beat last year’s total of nineteen. I’m more or less on pace for that same number, but hopefully May will be a multi-acceptance month to let me pull ahead.
Publications
Three publications this month, the aforementioned “His True Name” at 50-Word Stories, a flash piece called “Big Problems” at Jersey Devil Press, and a short story titled “Paint-Eater” at The Arcanist. All three are free to read by clicking the links below.
“His True Name”
Published by 50-Word Stories (free to read)
“Big Problems”
Published by Jersey Devil Press (free to read)
“Paint-Eater”
Published by The Arcanist (free to read)
And that was April. Tell me about your month.
Submission Protocol: For the Record
No doubt you’ve seen me post copious amounts of stats and analysis on this blog relating to my submissions, rejections, and acceptances. I’m able to do that because I keep track of every single submission I send and its outcome (plus a bunch of other details). You don’t have to be a stat wonk like me, but you should keep track of all your submissions. Here’s why.
- Avoid dumb submission mistakes. Once you get into triple digits with submissions that comprise dozens of stories, it can be pretty easy to forget where you sent each one. So one of the things I do before I send out a story, especially one that’s racked up a fair number of rejections, is to check my database. That way I can make sure I’m not sending it to a publisher that’s already rejected it. Full disclosure: I’ve actually made this mistake a few times. Wanna know why? I didn’t check my fucking database before I hit send. (Let’s call that a cautionary tale.)
- Submission analysis & targeting. Look, you don’t have to get all crazy with the data like I do, but having some data at hand can be useful to determine how your submissions are doing overall. You can look for trends and anomalies that might help you dial in your submission targeting. Are you only getting standard form rejections from that one magazine and then going on to sell those stories elsewhere? Yeah? Then maybe that market isn’t a good fit for your work. Are your horror stories landing at a market but they’re consistently rejecting your fantasy stories? Okay, then stop sending them fantasy stories. A submission database that keeps track of not just when and where, but also genre, length, and other details may slightly increase the likelihood of an acceptance.
- Big-picture progress. One of my favorite things about a robust database is it really lets me see how I’m doing month to month and year to year. I can see if my acceptance numbers (and rate) are improving, if I’m getting more higher-tier and personal rejections than standard rejections, and all sorts of other info that can be quite encouraging. Having a database can help you take a big-picture view of your work rather than the isolated snapshots that come with each rejection. That’s always a confidence booster for me.
I’ve told you why you should keep a submission database; now let me tell you how. My preferred method is to let someone else do the bulk of the work, which is why I track all my submissions through Duotrope. They keep that database for me, and I can filter by market, by story, by rejection (and type of rejection), and so on. I can also download all this data with the click of a button if I want to manipulate it further. Yes, Duotrope is five bucks a month, but if you submit as often as I do, I think that’s a bargain. The Submission Grinder (which is free) has similar functionality, but since I don’t use that service I can’t give you the exact details.
What if you don’t want to use Duotrope or the Submission Grinder to track your submissions? No problem. It’s super easy to set up an Excel spreadsheet that’ll do the trick. If you’re Excel savvy, you can even get a lot of the same functionality you get at Duotrope with a little work. What should your submission database track? Here are the basics you should include: story title, genre, length, market, date sent, date received, and response. That might look like this.
This is a cobbled-together snapshot of some of my own submissions as an example of how you might track your own (No, I don’t generally rock a 50% acceptance rate; I just grabbed a bunch of old submissions for variety). Pretty simple, right? I can sort and parse this data in a number of ways to get all analytical if I want or just to make sure I don’t send a story to a market that’s already rejected it. If you want a more functionality, consider keeping tracking things like the days between submissions and responses and if the submission is a reprint or a sim-sub. That’s all great data. Whatever your database looks like the real key is to be consistent and diligent with keeping track of your submissions. Record every submissions and every response right away (if possible). Yeah, I know recording rejections kind of sucks, but trust me, it’ll serve you in the long run.
How do you keep track of your submissions? Tell me about it in the comments.
A Week of Writing: 4/22/19 to 4/28/19
Seven more days down. Here’s the writing week that was.
Words to Write By
The quote this week comes from Louis L’Amour.
“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”
— Louis L’Amour
I come back to this quote a lot when I’m struggling with a story, a novel, or especially a novel revision. You see, the hardest thing for me is getting started. I have a tendency to build up whatever project I’m working on into this terrifying monolith of impossible work that I psyche myself out before I even start. So, what I have to do is grit my teeth, open that Word document, and just START. Sometimes that’s as simple as rereading and revising what I worked on the day prior, and almost always the fear fades away, the goal becomes clearer, and I can get to it. It’s not exactly writer’s block, but I think it stems from the same place: fear. I’ve found that fear is kind of like fire; it’ll spread if you give it more fuel. So I take Mr. L’Amour’s advice, turn on the faucet, and put out that fire.
The Novel
The revision of Late Risers continues, and last week I again made good progress. I’m about a third of the way through, but I expect my pace to accelerate once I get past the first act where the bulk of the revision is happening. My focus remains on adding new material and then making everything downstream fit that new material. Last week this meant completely removing some chapters and moving others around (with slight adjustments). The result, so far, is a first act that moves quicker and gets to important plot elements as they are happening instead of the characters finding out about them second hand. Anyway, I hope to get to at least the halfway point this week.
Short Stories
Still lagging a bit with submissions, but I did manage to get one out last week.
- Submissions Sent: 1
- Rejections: 0
- Acceptances: 1
- Publications: 2
- Shortlist: 0
Though I only managed one submission, an acceptance and two publications kind of makes up for the lack of activity. The acceptance was my second microfiction acceptance, and the publications were the aforementioned microfiction and a reprint flash piece. You can check out both publications below.
The Blog
Two blog posts last week.
4/22/19: Weeks of Writing: 4/15/19 to 4/21/19
The usual weekly writing update.
4/26/19: The Random Rejection Generator v1.0
This is just a bit of fun rejectomancy where you randomly generate your own form rejections.
Goals
Still chugging along on the novel revision and trying to get short story submission out. The focus remains on the former.
Publications
Two publications last week. A microfiction piece called “His True Name” at 50-Word Stories and a flash fiction story called “Big Problems” at Jersey Devil Press. You can read both by clicking the links below.
“His True Name”
Published by 50-Word Stories (free to read)
“Big Problems”
Published by Jersey Devil Press (free to read)
And that was my week. How was yours?
The Random Rejection Generator v1.0
If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know I like to have a little fun with rejections (it helps keep me mostly sane), and I’ve created a number of activities writers can do with their nos and not for us’s to make the process less heart-breaking. My last creation was Rejection Bingo, but this time I want to give authors the chance to create their very own rejections with my new Random Rejection Generator!
Here’s how it works. Just grab a six-sided die and roll it once for the INTRO, once for the BAD NEWS, and once for the CLOSING to generate your random rejection.
INTRO
1) Thank you for submitting [story title] to [publisher], but
2) We appreciate your interest in [publisher], but
3) Thank you for considering [publisher], unfortunately
4) Thank you for thinking of [publisher], alas
5) Thank you for sending [story title], but
6) Thanks for giving us a chance to read [story title], but
BAD NEWS
1) this story is not what we’re looking for at the moment.
2) we are going to have to pass on this one.
3) your story does not fit our current needs.
4) this one is not for us.
5) we will not be using your story in this issue.
6) this one didn’t quite grab us.
CLOSING
1) Please keep us in mind in the future.
2) We look forward to your next submission.
3) Best of luck placing this elsewhere.
4) We wish you all the best with your work.
5) Best of luck finding a home for this.
6) We appreciate your interest in our magazine.
So, for example, if I rolled 1, 2, 4, my random rejection would be:
Thank you for submitting “When the Woodchipper Whispers Your Name” to Buckets-O-Blood Quarterly, but we are going to have to pass on this one. We wish you all the best with your work.
Or if I rolled 6, 3, 5, my random rejection would be:
Thanks for giving us a chance to read “Vegan Vampire Vengeance,” but your story does not fit our current needs. Best of luck finding a home for this.
How might you use the Random Rejection Generator? Well, for fun, mostly, but, hey, if you get a no-response rejection, feel free to roll up a random rejection on the table for some closure. Of course, the current version of the Random Rejection Generator only produces standard form rejections, but keep an eye out for a new and improved RRG with options for higher-tier rejections.
Roll up your own random rejection and post it in the comments or throw out suggestions for the RRG v2.0. 🙂
A Week of Writing: 4/15/19 to 4/21/19
Another week in the books. Here’s how I did.
Words to Write By
The quote this week is another of Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules of Writing.
Never open a book with weather.
If it’s only to create atmosphere, and not a character’s reaction to the weather, you don’t want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people.
– Elmore Leonard
I think Leonard meant this literally, in that it’s an old cliche best avoided, but I think there’s something else to be gleaned here from “The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people.” What I get from that is, basically, open the book (or story) with characters doing and experiencing things rather than static descriptions. Like all of Leonard’s rules, these are useful guides for writing in a particular style, and may not be a perfect fit for everyone. They work for me, though, and I tend to use his rules as a kind of checklist when I’m reviewing my manuscript. In fact, the original opening to my novel was a little, uh, weathery, so I revised it and opened with characters doing stuff important to the plot. The new opening is one I hope prompts readers to ask: Who are these people? Why are they doing these things? More than that, I hope it prompts folks to read further in search of the answers to those questions.
The Novel
I continue to make good progress on revisions with the novel. Its going slower than I’d like, but I feel like the changes are good. Last week I added a lot of new material, made adjustments immediately downstream for that new material, and plotted out where further changes would need to be made. This week, I’m adding more new stuff, cutting some of the deadwood, and, again, making changes to existing chapters to fit with the new stuff. The main thrust is that I had a very talky novel, and while some of that talking was interesting and important and will remain, it needed more “people doing stuff,” especially in the first act. At this point, I’m gonna stop setting deadlines for this revision and default to a simple “soon.”
Short Stories
After getting back on track in the weeks prior, I’ve derailed this week.
- Submissions Sent: 0
- Rejections: 1
- Acceptances: 0
- Publications: 0
- Shortlist: 0
Yeah, not great. My focus has been on the novel, and I think that’s where it needs to be for the moment. I’ve got stories ready to submit, and I might send out a few this week, but if I don’t, I’ll catch up next month.
The Blog
Only one blog post last week, but I got more planned for this week.
4/15/19: Weeks of Writing: 3/24/19 to 4/14/19
A big catch-up post of the past three weeks of writing and submissions.
Goals
The novel is priority and will command the bulk of my writing time. Though I’ll try to get some short story submissions out, I won’t beat myself up if I don’t.
And that was my week. How was yours?
Weeks of Writing: 3/25/19 to 4/14/19
Well, I fell behind on these again, so here’s a three-week catch-up of the weeks that were.
Words to Write By
The quote this week comes from Stephen King.
“The writer must have a good imagination to begin with, but the imagination has to be muscular, which means it must be exercised in a disciplined way, day in and day out, by writing, failing, succeeding and revising.”
– Stephen King
I’m kind of a fitness nerd, so likening the imagination (and the writing process) to a muscle that must be exercised on a regular basis make a lot of sense to me. Like working out, it’s something you have to do even when it’s the last fucking thing you want to do. If you want that literary muscle to get stronger, you have to use it, and though the first thing King lists, writing, can be hard enough, it’s those other things, especially the failing and revising, that really stimulate literary growth for me. As I continue to revise my novel, I’m definitely learning, getting better, and next time I’ll be stronger and faster because of it.
The Novel
Well, my goal for finishing the revision of Late Risers by mid-month was a little optimistic, but the extra time I took was mostly planning and additional outlining, and that’s paying dividends now. I’m in the thick of the revision, and I like where things are going. The story feels stronger, more cohesive, and the changes and additions I’ve made are leading me to some very interesting and, I hope, compelling places. In short, I feel good about how the novel is shaping up, and even though my writer brain is screaming at me not to trust this feeling, I’m gonna run with it and hope it gets me through this round of revisions.
Short Stories
What’s below accounts for roughly three weeks of submissions, and I’d say I’m back on track for the most part.
- Submissions Sent: 10
- Rejections: 8
- Acceptances: 2
- Publications: 1
- Shortlist: 0
So, those 10 submissions put me at 34 for the year (6 in April). That puts me on pace for around 120 submissions in 2019. I need to get out three or four more in April to stay on target, but that shouldn’t be difficult. A fair amount of rejections in these past three weeks, and a few of them were heart-breakers, but the acceptances and a publication softened the blow somewhat.
The Blog
Here are the blog highlights for the last three weeks.
3/27/19: Submission Top Ten: Shortest Waits
This is a list of my quickest rejections and acceptances, including what I consider an unbreakable record.
4/1/19: A Month of Microfiction: March 2019
Just what it says on the tin. This is all the Twitter microfiction I wrote last month.
4/8/19: Micromanagement: 4 Benefits of Writing Tiny
In this post I explore some of the benefits of writing microfiction.
Goals
I’d like to finish the revision of Late Risers by the end of the month, but if it takes a bit longer, that’s okay too.
Publications
One publication over the last three weeks. I took 3rd place in The Arcanist’s Magical Story contest, and you can read my entry, “Paint-Eater,” by clicking the link below.
“Paint-Eater”
Published by The Arcanist (free to read)
How was your writing week(s)? Tell me about it in the comments.
Submission Statement: March 2019
March has come and gone, and here’s how I did for the month.
March 2019 Report Card
- Submissions Sent: 12
- Rejections: 7
- Acceptances: 3
- Publications: 2
- Submission Withdrawal: 1
Okay, this was a pretty good month. A dozen submissions is great, three acceptances is even better, and, hey, seven rejections isn’t too bad, especially since a couple of them were “good” rejections. I also had a couple of publications for the month, which I’ll link at the bottom of the post. I did have to withdraw one story after my status queries went unanswered, but that just happens sometimes.
March’s totals (and one in April) give me twenty-nine submissions for the year, which puts me back on pace for one-hundred. I’m also up to five acceptances, which is roughly the same pace I was on last year. Of course, I hope to exceed that.
Rejections
Seven rejections for March.
- Standard Form Rejections: 5
- Upper-Tier Form Rejections: 1
- Personal Rejections: 1
I did receive a nice personal rejection and a very nice upper-tier rejection, which is the spotlight rejection for the month. (As usual, I’ve removed anything that might overtly reveal the publisher, the story, or any personal information).
Dear Aeryn,
Thank you for considering [publisher] for your story, [story title]
Unfortunately we have decided not to accept it.
As much as we wish we could, we can’t publish every good story that comes our way. Truthfully, we’re forced to return a great many stories with merits that make them well worthy of publication, including yours.
Your story did, however, reach the final stage of our selection process–one among an elite group. Less than 5% of stories make it this far. That is no small feat.
We wish you the best of luck finding a home for your story elsewhere, feel confident of your success in doing so, and hope to receive submissions from you in the future.
This is my second close-but-not-cigar rejection in a row from this pro publisher, so as disappointing as it to get this close again and not make it through, I am definitely getting a very good idea of the types of stories I need to send. Hopefully, my next attempt (or the one after that) will end in an acceptance.
So, what should we take away from this rejection? Well, the most obvious thing is what has pretty much become my motto here on the blog: good stories get rejected too. Even though I didn’t get published here, I feel confident I have a good story, so I subbed it to another pro market, and if it’s rejected there, I’ll sub it to another, and another, and another.
Acceptances
Three acceptances this month, one of which is new territory for me. My microfiction story “Treed” was published by 50-Word Stories. I just started writing microfiction, so that’s some nice validation I’m doing something right. If you’d like to take a gander at the microfiction I’ve been writing, I gathered all of March’s micros in this post.
The second acceptance is with Jersey Devil Press for my reprint flash fiction story “Big Problems.” This is a new publisher for me, so it’s great to get an acceptance on my first submission. That story will be out in April, and I’ll point you all to it.
The last acceptance is from my old pals at The Arcanist. My short story “Paint-Eater” took third place in their Magical Short Story contest. That one will be free to read sometime later this month.
Publications
Two publications this month, the aforementioned “Treed” and 50-Word Stories and a flash piece called “Far Shores and Ancient Graves” at NewMyths. Both are free to read by clicking the links below.
“Treed”
Published by 50-Word Stories
“Far Shores and Ancient Graves”
Published by NewMyths
And that was my March. Tell me about yours.
A Month of Microfiction: March 2019
In late February I started writing daily Twitter microfiction under the #vss365 hashtag (that’s very short stories). I’ve had a real blast writing these things, and the prompts have been fun and challenging. I’ve been a flash fiction writer for a long time, but I’d never attempted micro because, frankly, I was intimidated by the tiny word counts. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to dive in because micro is an excellent exercise in stripping an idea down to the frame so it still makse sense with the bare minimum of words. I think that’s a great skill for any writer to work on.
Anyway, I thought I’d round up my month’s work and put it on the blog. You’ll notice a hashtagged word in each of these stories–it’s just the prompt word we had to use for that day. As for quality, it’s kind of a mixed bag. I think there are some real gems in here, some pretty good ones, and a fair amount of, well, kinda mediocre ones. If you’d like to read my microfiction in real time, just follow me on Twitter @Aeryn_Rudel.
Oh, and on some days I wrote two micros. The first of the two is the one I actually published.
March, 1st 2019
You can’t #escape the past. You can run, sure, but your old life? It’ll catch up, eventually, with names, faces, bodies. When it finds you, it doesn’t give a shit you’ve turned over a new leaf. And when the past speaks, it sounds a lot like a gun cocking in your ear.
March, 2nd 2019
I don’t watch Lucky work. It creeps me out. My job is talking, his is making people receptive to talking.
He comes out of the garage, wiping blood from his knuckles, that weird satisfied look on his face. “You’re up.”
“Can he still talk?”
Lucky shrugs. “He can #listen.”
March, 3rd 2019
I wake next to the ceiling, sigh, and struggle to #orient myself. These out of body experiences are becoming more frequent. I stare down at my body: gray, joints twisted, heart a thready echo of youth long past. I think the old pile of meat is trying to tell me something.
March, 4th 2019
The apocalypse taught me to #improvise, to use brains and instincts I never knew I had. Every tin can is a way to collect rain water, every rusted-out old car potential shelter, and every person I meet . . . Well, let’s just say I can “improvise” the taste of chicken.
March, 5th 2019
Up close, you can’t #overlook the details. The bulge of a Kevlar vest, the way a mark moves if he’s strapped, the wary gait of a man who knows he’s a target. The world is safer through a scope, and at three-hundred yards, it’s just pull the trigger, lights out, get paid.
March, 6th 2019
“Drink, Eva,” Ivan said.
“No, the red stuff is yucky.”
Nadia sighed. “Ivan, for a vampire you are oddly unpersuasive.”
“I’m open to suggestions.” Nadia went outside and returned with a snowball.
“Who wants snowcones?”
“Me! Me!” Eva said.
“Ivan, the cherry #syrup, please.”
March, 7th 2019
1) The catcher smirks as I step into the box. He’s a young guy, his big league dreams still intact. I know what he thinks. Why do I keep playing? The pitch sails in, and the crack of the bat gives me the same answer it has for eleven minor-league seasons. I #belong here.
2) The house didn’t #belong in Miller’s Field. It sat alone, more ruins than home, its broken windows promising darkness and dust. We found the foundations of other houses, almost invisible beneath the weeds, chewed to concrete stumps. The old house loomed over the carcasses.#vss365
March, 8th 2019
I once believed #she needed a shield from the world and its darkness. I was a fool, blind to the scars she bore from past battles hard-fought and hard-won. The mighty have no need of champions. Now I fight beside her, beneath her banner, and I am stronger for it.
March, 9th 2019
Frankie “Ice Cream” was the #epitome of a good guy and a good hitter. He gave his marks Ben & Jerry’s. A sweet end, he called it. But a good guy can be a good hitter only so long. Frankie quit with an empty pint of B&J in his lap and one of his own bullets in his skull.
March, 10th 2019
His letters always ended with an ellipsis. The dates and names before that were things we already knew, horrors we’d already found. We studied them, as we had to, but what kept me awake at night wasn’t the awful details. It was the terrible promise of that dot, dot, #dot.
March, 11th 2019
Cooper called his pearl-handled Colt Peacemaker “Fool’s End.” He’d swagger into a saloon, pick some tough talker with iron on his hip and jostle him, maybe spill his drink. Then Cooper’d smile and wait, hoping the fool would test a #quick temper against quicker hands.
March, 12th 2019
Dr. Keller asked me to draw my nightmares. He said the first #sketch–all whorls and spikes–was good progress. The second, clearer, the face more real, scared him. By the third, he begged me to stop. By the fifth, they took him away. Now I can sleep, and I do not dream.
March, 13th 2019
Most headhunters end up zombie chow in the first month. They go in, guns blazing, and draw the horde down on their heads. I take a different #approach. I follow the rookies with my rifle, wait for ’em to do something stupid, and then make sure the new zombie dies first.
March, 14th 2019
I found a #pocket universe in an old pair of jeans. It ate my iPhone and twenty-six bucks before I realized what it was. When Jack kicked in my door to collect his money, I showed him what I’d found. Now he gets to visit another dimension one pocket-sized bit at a time.
March, 15th 2019
1) People say they #crave adventure, but that’s bullshit. They want the idea of adventure, the Hollywood version of being lost in the jungle or shooting bad guys. When you’re ten days without food in the Amazon or plugging bullet holes with your socks, you just crave home.
2) If you’re human and you #crave BBQ chips or pickles, you just run out to the store and get some. When you’re undead, and you crave the brains of a painter (tastier memories), you have to wait outside art galleries in the dark with a hammer and an ice cream scoop.
March, 16th 2019
When death came for me, I refused to go. So it asked me a #question. “When should I return?” Like a fool, I said never. That was a long, long time ago, and now I spend the endless stretch of years asking my own question. “Where is death?” I’ve yet to get an answer.
March, 17th 2019
He called his fists shock and #awe. He’d ask me which I wanted. I went with awe because his left was weaker. MMA taught me to use my own weapons, and when I came home the last time, he didn’t understand the change. I didn’t ask which he wanted. I just gave him everything.
March, 18th 2019
The deep space probe sent back a series of #cryptic messages, each different than the last. I cracked one weeks later; it was simply the number 10. The next message was 9, then 8, then 7. The messages stopped after number 1. Now we watch the skies, tremble, and wait.
March, 19th 2019
A guy came to the bar with a gun in his belt. He was real nice and offered his services for our #mutual benefit and protection. It sounded like a good idea to me, but Nick packed his bags that same night. When I asked why, he said, “Hey, Joey, who protects us from HIM?”
March, 20th 2019
He does his job under a #pseudonym. Sometimes he goes by cancer, or stroke, or heart attack; other times he’s car accident, killed in action, or simply victim. No matter what he calls himself today, his true name is writ large and bold across each of our frail bodies.
March, 21st 2019
A demon walked into Lucifer’s office with an idea.
“I’ve invented a way to #magnify human evil so it’s easier for them to be terrible to each other,” the demon said.
“Wonderful! What’s it called?”
“That’s the best part. It sounds harmless. I call it ‘social media.'”
March, 22nd 2019
Murder is a #riddle. The blood and bodies are clues to the who and why. Killers always obfuscate their horrors, all except the one we called the Headhunter. He took pride in his work, and he didn’t leave riddles. He left a statement in red, “Come and get me if you dare.”
March, 23rd 2019
1) How do you end a killer’s career without getting killed? A little #sabotage goes a long way. I soldered bullet to casing in that stupid hand cannon Oleg uses. Did it work? I wasn’t around when the gun went boom, but I’m told blind, one-handed hitmen aren’t in high demand.
2) He began his career with a gun. When it got too easy, he used a knife. After that, he just strangled his hits, and we thought we’d seen the pinnacle of the hitman’s art. Then they found Jimmy Moretti, eyes wide, mouth open, not a mark on him, literally scared to death. #satsplat
The second one here was actually a different Twitter microfiction hashtag–#satsplat
March, 24th 2019
I was a #thorn in his side. Only irritating at first, a tiny obstacle he pushed aside to get to my mother. He didn’t fear me for a long time, but the day came when he swung his fist and drew it back slashed and bloody. He’d failed to notice how big and sharp I’d become.
March, 25th 2019
The #frame is cracked, the photo faded, but I can clearly see the family who lived here. What’s left of them shambles toward me through the ruins of their house, and I go to work. When it’s done, I reload, and put the picture on the bodies. I say a prayer and burn it all.
March, 26th 2019
1) I was eight feet tall when the docs installed an implant to #inhibit my growth. When I hit fifteen feet, they tried another. At fifty feet, they started getting nervous. At five hundred feet, the army paid me a visit. I didn’t want to be a monster, but a man’s gotta eat.
2) We tried to #inhibit its growth, but it spread so quickly. We threw science and reason at it, tried to arm the population with facts. They didn’t want facts; they wanted chemtrails and ancient aliens and a flat earth. We watched, helpless, as ignorance devoured the world. #vss365
March, 27th 2019
As a child, I looked through the #keyhole at the door of my grandfather’s study and saw a vast alien world stretching beneath an emerald sky. He told me it was where he came from. After the funeral, the keyhole showed only dust and books. The magic had gone home with him.
March, 28th 2019
He #collects and cultivates misery, sowing dark seeds with targeted vitriol. His foul words take root and spread, tiny flowers of hatred nurtured by dogged malice. For a fleeting moment he has power, malign purpose, and something to fill the yawning abyss in his soul.
March 29th, 2019
“You don’t need your #robe. Just grab the paper,” she said. Why did I listen? I had it coming, of course. Revenge for the Saran Wrap on the toilet seat. Now I stand in front of a locked door, naked, shaking my head and grinning like an idiot. I’ve finally met my match.
March 30th, 2019
1) The #second time we tried to summon the devil, it almost worked. We used the right kind of blood–goat not pig–and Doug got most of the incantation right. But he fucked it up at the end because he still can’t say that one word. Christ, Doug, it’s BLASPHEMY not BLASMEPHY.
2) When it comes to that final decision, most folks can’t pull the trigger, swing the bat, or thrust the knife in the crucial #second. They freeze up, grow a conscience. That’s why I get paid. I’m not the strongest or the toughest, but I can make that decision. Every time.
March 31st, 2019
Some say I have the soul of a #poet. It’s true. I keep it in a jar on a shelf above my desk. It comes in handy when I can’t think of a good word. I just shake the jar like a magic eight ball, and after a short poem about some guy from Nantucket, the perfect word appears.
And that’s my March microfiction. If you have a favorite or two, I’d love to hear about it in the comments. There might be a longer tale in some of these scribbles.
Submission Top Ten: Shortest Waits
Last week I showed you my ten longest waits for submissions. This week, I’m gonna flip the script and show you the ten shortest waits. So, without further ado, here they are:
| Time Elapsed | Result | Sold | |
| 1 | 10 minutes | Rejection | |
| 2 | 17 minutes | Acceptance | Yes (2) |
| 3 | 46 minutes | Rejection | |
| 4 | 49 minutes | Rejection | Yes |
| 5 | 1 hour, 37 minutes | Rejection | |
| 6 | 1 hour, 52 minutes | Higher-Tier Rejection | |
| 7 | 2 hours, 30 minutes | Rejection | |
| 8 | 2 hours, 58 minutes | Rejection | |
| 9 | 3 hours, 22 minutes | Rejection | Yes (3) |
| 10 | 4 hours, 6 minutes | Higher-Tier Rejection | |
Instead of going through each one of these (they’re all pretty similar), I’ll just give you the highlights.
- Yep, 10 minutes is my record, and it’s one I’ll probably never break. You might be thinking, “Wow, they must really hate your work,” but that is apparently not the case, as they’ve since bought a story from me. This market is just one that rejects quickly, and they could likely tell within the first paragraph the story wasn’t going to work for them. You might also be wondering if I just really screwed up the formatting or missed some other crucial guideline. I thought the same thing, and I went back over the submission with a fine-toothed comb. As far as I can tell, the submission was formatted correctly.
- My second shortest wait was an acceptance, which is another record I doubt I’ll ever break. They bought another story from me a few weeks later, but the response took almost THREE DAYS, an eternity compared to the first submission. 🙂
- There’s ten spots here, but they only cover four markets. One of the markets has five slots, and another has three. These are both well-known for rejecting (and accepting) very quickly.
- Three of the stories here I’ve gone on to sell to other markets, sometimes multiple times as reprints. I’m only pointing that out because the speed of rejection often has a lot more to do with the market than your story.
- Most of these are form rejections, but there’s a couple of higher-tier rejections, and I’ve even gotten full-blown personal rejections with tons of feedback on next-day responses. So, just because a market responds quickly doesn’t meant they didn’t read your story or gave it due consideration.
- You might be wondering if these speedy rejections bother me. They don’t. I appreciate how quickly these markets respond, as it means I can send the story out again (or make revisions) almost right away.
That’s my top ten shortest waits. Tell me about some of yours, especially if you’ve beaten my record time for a rejection or an acceptance. 🙂
Effectively Wild – A Baseball Horror Story
Night Walk & Other Dark Paths
Acts of War: Flashpoint
Acts of War: Aftershock
Acts of War: Stormbreak
Aeryn Rudel's Rejectomancy 