If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know I like to have a little fun with rejections (it helps keep me mostly sane), and I’ve created a number of activities writers can do with their nos and not for us’s to make the process less heart-breaking. My last creation was Rejection Bingo, but this time I want to give authors the chance to create their very own rejections with my new Random Rejection Generator!
Here’s how it works. Just grab a six-sided die and roll it once for the INTRO, once for the BAD NEWS, and once for the CLOSING to generate your random rejection.
1) Thank you for submitting [story title] to [publisher], but
2) We appreciate your interest in [publisher], but
3) Thank you for considering [publisher], unfortunately
4) Thank you for thinking of [publisher], alas
5) Thank you for sending [story title], but
6) Thanks for giving us a chance to read [story title], but
1) this story is not what we’re looking for at the moment.
2) we are going to have to pass on this one.
3) your story does not fit our current needs.
4) this one is not for us.
5) we will not be using your story in this issue.
6) this one didn’t quite grab us.
1) Please keep us in mind in the future.
2) We look forward to your next submission.
3) Best of luck placing this elsewhere.
4) We wish you all the best with your work.
5) Best of luck finding a home for this.
6) We appreciate your interest in our magazine.
So, for example, if I rolled 1, 2, 4, my random rejection would be:
Thank you for submitting “When the Woodchipper Whispers Your Name” to Buckets-O-Blood Quarterly, but we are going to have to pass on this one. We wish you all the best with your work.
Or if I rolled 6, 3, 5, my random rejection would be:
Thanks for giving us a chance to read “Vegan Vampire Vengeance,” but your story does not fit our current needs. Best of luck finding a home for this.
How might you use the Random Rejection Generator? Well, for fun, mostly, but, hey, if you get a no-response rejection, feel free to roll up a random rejection on the table for some closure. Of course, the current version of the Random Rejection Generator only produces standard form rejections, but keep an eye out for a new and improved RRG with options for higher-tier rejections.
Roll up your own random rejection and post it in the comments or throw out suggestions for the RRG v2.0. 🙂
Unquestionably, Hunter S. Thompson wrote the best rejection letters ever.
Wow, that is BRUTAL. (Also hilarious)
I haven’t had an upper tier rejection in a while, so I would love to play RRG v2.0. However, I assume every writer’s version may be unique due to the limitations of their own writing. My version would include, “We like your story, but”
“it starter too slow.”
“it got bogged down in exposition.”
“the main character [insert something the editor didn’t like about the character].”
“accepting your story would set the bar too high for all subsequent submissions, no matter the author.”
Okay, I haven’t received the last one yet.