The Rejectomancer’s Grimoire: Revise Rejection

This is the first in a series of posts that will explore the strange and wondrous powers available to rejectomancers. If you’re unfamiliar with the path of the rejectomancer, just click this link and get acquainted. Like the rejectomancer “class” they’re designed for, the spells in the Rejectomancer’s Grimoire are a) based loosely on a popular roleplaying game and b) just for fun, not at all serious, and especially not designed to be balanced or usable or any of that jazz. So, with that out of the way, let’s take a look at the first rejectomancer spell, a minor transmutation known as revise rejection.

Revise Rejection

1st-level rejectomancy

Casting Time: 1 minute

Range: Email

Components: Verbal

Duration: Until you read the rejection again

You cast this spell on one rejection email. The spell improves the rejection one step. A form letter becomes a higher-tier form letter, a higher-tier form letter becomes a personal rejection, and so on. The spell lasts until you read the rejection again, at which point it reverts to its true form. The verbal component for this spell requires you to chant a positive affirmation such as “it’s only one editor’s opinion” or “everyone gets rejected” while casting.

Some rejectomancers believe revise rejection is not a rejectomancy spell at all, but an enchantment that fools the rejectomancer into believing their rejection is better than it actually is. There is great debate among even the mightiest rejectomancers on this point.

Pretty sure I’ve cast this spell for reals a couple times, and, yeah, it might be more rejectomantic chicanery than actual magic. 🙂

Anyway, let me know what you think of revise rejection. I’ll likely tinker with the format of these things as I go on, but I had fun combining my past and present passions into one admittedly silly combo. 🙂

3 Comments on “The Rejectomancer’s Grimoire: Revise Rejection

  1. Thank you for the belly laughs on so many lines in here. Well played, sir, well played. Now, roll again!

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